Is stuttering being a “decent person filter” just an excuse to not deal with the issue?

When you ask stutterers for benefits of their stuttering, sometimes people will say - ‘It helps me eliminate judgmental people from my life’. Or it saves them from working for an employer who is ignorant and harmful.

Maybe there’s a slight aspect of truth to this - surely people who are actually judgmental of stuttering have plenty of other issues.

But how often can these people or employers be better educated instead? Why do we excuse them?

Imagine a woman posted on facebook: “Ugh - I didn’t get the huge promotion at work. I asked for feedback and they said ‘We don’t think a woman can handle this work.’ Fml. :(“

Would the comments be filled with people saying, “Their loss! You dodged a bullet. That’s a benefit to being a woman; you can weed out these people”?

While I’m sure a few people say that, most would say, “Contact a lawyer ASAP. They admitted they discriminated against you as a protected class? Sue them! That is wrong. Those types of people shouldn’t be in leadership!”

And yet - if you stutter and this happens, people would roll their eyes at such a “dramatic response”. That’s just the way of the world, sweetheart. Fit in or get out, but stop crying.

I got this reply recently (to a pikachu meme):

Twitter (X) reply from SolidFlow that says "The world is imperfect. Why is stuttering even a thing? The right answer is now arguing how unfair society is or "why me?". The correct response is doing everything you can to overcome stammering. — From X (Twitter)

As if advocating has never done anything.

The worst part of this is how many stutter acceptance advocates fall into this same trap. Stutterers think ‘people can leave us or take us’ but ignore the systemic oppression that happens an uneducated society. No marginalized group that has made traction would be where they’re at now in America if they always said “Well, too bad for us. Guess we better ignore it so that we don’t feel sorry for ourselves.”

I think there are far better things to spin stuttering as positive or neutral with than a friend-filter. When you do this, you continue to expect that people will see stutterers as lesser as the default, and you don’t hold them accountable for their ableist beliefs.

Also to add: No hate to anyone who feels this way! It’s also okay to see your stutter this way. This is simply my own reflection on why I find it frustrating, moreso when people say it TO PWS as some kind of benefit.

If that’s how you see it, that’s your viewpoint and it works for you.